Health And Wellness Humor Aficionados Gifts

"My doctor just told me to lose 30 pounds. Rufus, Teeny...you're fired."

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

'Side effects may include....'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

M.D. You burned a hole in your stomach --- eat only bland foods from now on! No more spicy food?! It's a season-ending injury!

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

"I didn't even get a balloon."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

'She says she has a prenatal appointment.'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"It says here you've been experiencing peels of thunder�"

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'Give Mr. Fogarty his testosterone injection, Nurse, and then run like the dickens!'