Health And Wellness Humorist Gifts

Unlock your Nymphomaniac Potential

"It's jelly right now, but I've just started a full regimen of core exercises.

"I recently went wireless."

"You won't gain weight drinking beer here. The bathroom is three flights up."

'Don't worry about that, Doctor. It's just a tattoo.'

'Ahh...Just what the doctor ordered!'

Look at the bright side. The I.R.S. says obesity is a disease, so your office visits are tax deductible.

'I should try the polyclinic, sir.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Lactose Intolerant

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

PSA Banter.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Providing Healthcare For All

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"Gesundheit!"

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

My Dream Valentine

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'