Health And Safety Geek Pillows

Henry ignored his antihistamine's warning to avoid operating dangerous machinery while using it and loses his right foot to the vacuum cleaner.

"This very spot...put his ear on the rail to listen if a train was coming...flattened by a steamroller."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

'Is this still America?'

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

'This is your lucky day!'

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

"I guess exercise will make me feel more energetic, but I feel like I'm wasting all my energy exercising!"

Halloween health & safety.

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

Man from 'Environmental Health visits a caf� run by bugs

Safety last.

"It's the worst case of Sick Building Syndrome I've ever seen!"

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

Troubles with a vacuum cleaner

Man sees danger of death sign. Arrows from sign are locked up.

'Sorry boss, I've decided to live dangerously and become a shelf filler.'

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

'I burnt my hand in hot water.' - 'Why didn't you feel it before putting your hand in?'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Don't worry about the workload. The boss upgraded the computer.'

'Well, maybe the world isn't quite ready for our ultra-deluxe smooth glide 36 blade razor.'

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

Man reading report with safety belt on.

"What do I do when I get to the top?"

"And that's why I don't have a steaming pile of s**t in my back yard."

Book in library - 'Crash tests for dummies' (being read by a crash test dummy).

'I take it that when you went on your 'spot reduction' diet, this wasn't what you had in mind?'

Disabilities and Health & Safety

The latest safety device: Air bags on juggling pins.