Health And Safety Geek Gifts

Henry ignored his antihistamine's warning to avoid operating dangerous machinery while using it and loses his right foot to the vacuum cleaner.

"This very spot...put his ear on the rail to listen if a train was coming...flattened by a steamroller."

"Hey, Zorro! You forgot your mask."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

'Is this still America?'

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

'This is your lucky day!'

"I guess exercise will make me feel more energetic, but I feel like I'm wasting all my energy exercising!"

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

Halloween health & safety.

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

Man from 'Environmental Health visits a caf� run by bugs

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

Safety last.

"It's the worst case of Sick Building Syndrome I've ever seen!"

The waitstaff at Luigi's like to have fun when they administered the Heimlich maneuver.

'I burnt my hand in hot water.' - 'Why didn't you feel it before putting your hand in?'

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

'The nation is evenly divided again...the red states, Atkins Diet...the blue states, South Beach.'

Troubles with a vacuum cleaner

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

Man sees danger of death sign. Arrows from sign are locked up.

'Sorry boss, I've decided to live dangerously and become a shelf filler.'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

'Well, maybe the world isn't quite ready for our ultra-deluxe smooth glide 36 blade razor.'

'Don't worry about the workload. The boss upgraded the computer.'

Disabilities and Health & Safety

'I take it that when you went on your 'spot reduction' diet, this wasn't what you had in mind?'

Book in library - 'Crash tests for dummies' (being read by a crash test dummy).

"And that's why I don't have a steaming pile of s**t in my back yard."