Health Advice Seekers Gifts

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

Exercise Bars

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

"You call that complementary!?!"

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.

'Does my bum look broadband with this?'

A Bug's Life Advice

Second Opinion

"The reason you haven't seen me lately is because I haven't been well..."

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

"I'm recommending a more balanced diet."

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

No use being self-conscious

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt