Headstand Practitioner Gifts

Shrink Hemorrhoids without Surgery.

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

The handstand enthusiast with no sense of balance

"People are always saying how stupid it is that the bst practitioners are always promoted and make poor managers....but I think that's complete rubbish...He was a lousy practitioner as well!"

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

"All I have is tofu."

Wordplay: Inverted.

Jimmy likes to stand on his head.

"You father's a nap just waiting to happen."

'You've got some nerve barging in here demanding my staff drop everything and do handstands for you!'

'My spirit guide told me your inner child really needs a speeding ticket.'

"I wonder what we did in a past life that made us all go bald?"

'I don't have the heart to tell him that electric typewriters aren't REALLY the latest thing.'

'I'm just going to our front gate for a chunner!'

"I think I've just peaked!"

Public Intellectual/Private Intellectual

Konstantin Stanislavsky

Upside down sign offers Yoga Classes.

Monk applying plasters in the shape of a cross.

Ballet keeps you supple...

"Okay, you know so much, you fight him"

'Could you open the door? I want to see the freezer.'

"I took an online, two-day legal course, so I respectfully disagree with you."

"Intellectual my foot! My good-for-nothing husband just sits around all day and writes stupid social media comments!"

Barry had never heard of 'food hygiene awareness'.