Headstand Hero Gifts

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"How long were you in that headstand?"

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

Freedom of the press

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Everyone has to do their share. . . I've always been known as a good worker. . . whew. . .Gotta keep going, no time to rest now."

Baby with straw to eat out of bib.

"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

'How is this for a headline: Climate change denial blogs cause further global warming.'

"Yes, you do go the extra mile for this company. But you've been going in the wrong direction."

Babies who Lunch.

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

An expletive of editors

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

Daily News. Headline Writing Dept. How about this story, Ernie? ... Blonde twins parachuted nude to win a bet! Fair pair use air scare for bare dare!

Golf Myths - The Perfect Game.

The handstand enthusiast with no sense of balance

Born to play ball.

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

Newspaper Co. Sports Desk. Ernie, we need headlines for our series of articles on sports stars trying to revive their careers. Let's start with the Australian athlete. "Boomerang Thrower's Comeback." A basketball player bulked up to become competitive again. "Hoopster Muscles Way to Rebound"! The tennis star overcame a serious illness and is back on the court. "Tennis Champ Rallies: Makes Exciting Return"! The skier, on the other hand, had to retire. He's a politician in a dirty electi

Wordplay: Inverted.

Tabloid Times. Headline Dept. Ernie, what's your headline for the story about the stodgy banker who mixed with a fast crowd and ruined his marriage? Big square falls into wrong circle causing fatal triangle.

Procrastinators Anonymous: Just wait and see.

Jimmy likes to stand on his head.

As the other boarders stared in awe, Todd blew by them on his new cranio-board.

'You've got some nerve barging in here demanding my staff drop everything and do handstands for you!'

'Be careful where you step. My dad says he has a lot of blood, sweat and tears in this ranch.'

I think a carjacking story needs a more dramatic headline than "Man Held Up in Traffic."

A handlebar moustache.

Some days I just burst with pride being a journalist.

Children on harnesses being pulled apart by their mothers.

Headline Writing Dept. Ernie, what's your headline for the story about oil getting harder to find and extract? "Fewer Facile Fossil Fuels."

The Owl Tribune. Editor. You got the what, where, when, why and how -- I can't believe you forgot the who!