Head Injury Survivor Pillows

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"This is your second cousin Adalberto. He was a soccer player until he was kciked in the head and got a conclusion."

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Barbeque Casualty.

Gary turns 40.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"I'm here for the hair."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'Take two asprin and stick your head in the the sand.'

'You have an 85% chance of surviving this and 20% chance of wishing you hadn't.'

"After they've had hell beaten out of them they'll enjoy playing in Heaven."

Sporting maladies.

"I see you do all your own stunts."

"I think Simon’s been hit on the head one too many times."

"It wasn't a carcinoma at all- it was just an itty-bitty attorney."

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

'You've got a broken finger.'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"I don't get it. I only had a couple of beers in the pub last night, but I've got a splitting headache this morning."

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

The rotator cuff fairy.

'...Splints. Tape. Ice pack. Bandages....Wait! Here it is - spare brain.'

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'