Hazardous Trail Afficionado Gifts

"Why do we do this again?"

First aid in mountains

Sport Utility Boot.

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

First aid departments

'I told you to keep your rice in a plastic bag.'

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

'I know just how you feel.'

"Renovating your bathroom?"

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

Bear painting signs encouraging people to feed the animals.

Confusing directions.

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

Safety last.

Orienteering 101

You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor, and Walter just isn't taking any chances.

Tourist is told to go home by a monument

'I found a whole bunch of worms in the wheel wells!'

'This is where the trail gets a little more challenging.'

'No broken bones. You're lucky, looks like the tree helped break your fall.'

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

"Let's have a look at that Appalachian trail map again."

Deer with Crosscut Saw.

Mulligan's first mulligan.

Water Ski Accident

Dagger Juggling Circus Act Goes Wrong

'Now I'm glad I sprained my ankle. The view from up here is beautiful.'

'Sidney's such a klutz. He broke his leg in three places -- Boston, Akron and Salt Lake City.'

"We've been walking forever. When does the 'hike start?"

'It doesn't look good, coach. He was sitting down after cheering a base hit and got a sliver - a big one... He might be lost for the rest of the season.'