Haunting Enthusiast Pillows

"...An old librarian wearing glasses directed you to the supernatural section?... Well, there was someone fitting your description who worked here once, but..."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Zombie standup

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

Ghost School.

Dead Funny

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

Night of the Zombonies.

Chiller Theatre

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Zombies.

Solar Frankenstein

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"Of course I'm dressed like a cheap w***e! It's Halloween! Duhh!"