Haunted House Humorists Pillows

"As far as I know, it's been abandoned for years. I hear it's haunted."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Macbeth: Take Two

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Yard Sale

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

The following is a paid political announcement.

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

Cat Frankenstein

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

Fancy a pint?

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"Some Debussy, Igor."

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

The Zombie Awakes...

"It was a botched surgery."