Haunted House Designer T-Shirts

"We'll need guts here...a body in the front yard...and blood here!"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

Out To Lurch

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

We have the right to refuse service to those not wearing a mask.

Open House of Horrors

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Old Joe the gardener was begining to regret the fact he'd bought last year's pumpkin seeds on Halloween!

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

Scratchy carves out another masterpiece.

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

Candy Corn Dracula

"You never know what will catch on!"

Horror writer.

"Dad, it's gonna take more than that to scare me."

"My biggest concern is adequate closet space."

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

Bad Halloween party games #7: Bobbing for Lobsters

"Is there anybody there?"

Monster Realtor

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

Arctic Snails.

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

'Nice model but it will also entice every deer in the forest.'

Orange House of Horrors

Jack-o-lantern mobile.

"Architectural Digest calls it 'Twilight chic.'"

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."