Haunted House Designer Gifts

"We'll need guts here...a body in the front yard...and blood here!"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

Out To Lurch

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

Open House of Horrors

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

We have the right to refuse service to those not wearing a mask.

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

Old Joe the gardener was begining to regret the fact he'd bought last year's pumpkin seeds on Halloween!

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

Scratchy carves out another masterpiece.

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"You never know what will catch on!"

Horror writer.

"Dad, it's gonna take more than that to scare me."

Monster Realtor

"Is there anybody there?"

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"My biggest concern is adequate closet space."

Candy Corn Dracula

Bad Halloween party games #7: Bobbing for Lobsters

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

Arctic Snails.

'The pink squirrel's okay, but you gotta try the fuzzy navel.'

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

'Nice model but it will also entice every deer in the forest.'

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

'Spend the night in that place? You guys have to be kidding!'

Orange House of Horrors