Hat-trick Fans Pillows

'Now THAT'S just showing off!'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

Birds doing the 'wave'.

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

Dating The Daughter Of A Hockey Goalie

Psychaitry. Are you sure lying on my back is the best way to address my feelings of helplessness?

"Just be proud we're the first father-son ice dancing team."

The high jump before Sir Isaac Newton discovered gravity.

Table Tennis ball-boys

Fast food

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

"Has this ever happened to you? Well, with our Medical Emergency Distress System..."

Birds Ice Skating.

"He believes it will freeze over any day now."

Canadian Chess

'Get him tested. He's got to be taking some kind of performance enhancing drug.'

'Is this irony or coincidence?'

'Hip!'

I hope we don't settle until after the hockey finals.

The Unsportables: Shot Put

"And what can I get for you, hamsome?"

"We're saved!"

Follow Your Quiff

'Puck!'

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin playing hockey. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore."

Pole Vaulting in Hurdle Race

It's an anti-tipping device, I thought of it while watching Drag-Racing on TV...

J. Willems - batting champ, home run champ, tested negative for steroids.

"She's possessed by the devil!"

Modern Stadium.

NORWAY'S HOPE FOR GOLD IN '96: 15,000-METER SALMON RELAY.

'I hate Mondays.'

'A meeting of the 'Bandy' association for the promotion of 'Hockey on the ice.''

Exercising is good -- but I'd forget about the sit-ups.

'So you're doing this just for fun right? Right?'