Harmonic Hound Pillows

'You're howling off key again!'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

"Consider yourself chased."

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Hair of the dog spots: christmas jumper

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

'No need to shout.'

'Good dog!'

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

'Heel.'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

"And yet, I too am a still life."

Canine Scent-ipede

Johann Sebastian Bark.

"They're remaking the old 'Dracula' film again..."

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

Lawyer to client: 'Yes, your turnover at the pastry shop would fall under tort law.'

'I knew him before he became a police dog!'

Musical arrows.

'Why good dogs go bad.'

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

'I'd say it's a fungal infection.'