Hardware Store Habitue Gifts

'Do you have any duck tape?'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Sale! Weed Whackers

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

Hardware. You're right, maybe we should sell hammers by the "pound."

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

Witch Hardware

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'Better buy one now - before they make them too big to fit into your house.'

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

Men's Prayer Group.

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

'It's an S.E.C. approved GPS system...'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"

Female nail has been hammered in. Says to male nail: 'Sorry, I have a headache.'

Widescreen TV.

Bob's DIY Store

"So long, Mr Schwartz. I'm leaving. Nowadays, software's where it's at."

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

'I'd like you to meet the saw, the hammer and, well, you know the drill.'

'Let's watch 'Remember the Tightens!'' 'No! I want to watch 'I Love Loosey!''

Flat screen TVs and 3D TVs.

Stud Finders: 'These don't even work!'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"