Hardware Store Explorer Gifts

"When it comes to blowing leaves around uselessly and creating an insane amount of noise, this model can't be beat."

"Let's see if I can find you something sexy for Valentine's Day."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'Better buy one now - before they make them too big to fit into your house.'

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"You get one every time you order something online."

"No, we're not buying that cereal - do you know how much sugar it contains?! Not nearly enough!"

"I always knew I was cutting edge - I've gone cashless my entire life."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'Do you have any duck tape?'

Pick & Buy Online.

'Wow, thanks for putting it into context. My 42-inch plasma really is obsolete.'

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Bob's DIY Store

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

'I'd like you to meet the saw, the hammer and, well, you know the drill.'

"Do you have these apples in green?"

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

Consumer care and technologies

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

'I don't care as long as don't end up being eaten over a sink.'

I don't think we should have linked the remote to the credit card

'Oh, he was bored with the toys within hours, but he's still enjoying the batteries.'

E-Business Convention

"I found you on Splrg's list."

'Oh, we're just here so Rusty can shop around for a new fence to dig under.'