Happy Hour Hero Gifts

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

"Here's to missing the big picture."

"I finally feel I can accept the things I'm too lazy to change."

'I'm seeking donations to fund understocked liquor stores in developing nations.'

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"I want my bubble back."

'Sixteenth gin and tonic this lunch.' 'Yes, I'm taking it easy.'

"I was grand fathered in from the previous establishment."

"Re toxing Dave"

'Our TVs show stock market channels, because people drink when the market is up, and drink when it's down,'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

"I get confused. When someone says, 'have you no shame?', is the proper answer 'yes' or 'no'?"

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

'Of course not, my dear -- I'm sober as a judge!'

'Damn it, I will have another, because I'm worth it.'

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

Drunk woman in front of poster - Drink as much as you can't

"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."

'The liquor store was overstocked, and it seemed like a shame to let it all go to waste.'

'I've got a bit of a drink problem.' 'Me too..there's never enough.'

'We only drink at weekends, the rest of the week we are as miserable as sin...'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Lush.

He managed to get his Mission Statement down to just one word...

"BOOZE"

Scariest Tactics

"I don't get drunk. I get fabulous!"

Happy Hour

"My business model is the same as my drinking model."

"The drinks cost the same, we just don't talk about Trump."

"Roger lost our money the old fashioned way, .... Hand over fist."

"Well, so much for happy hour."

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"Right now I'm between drinks."