Happy Hour Hero T-Shirts

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

"Here's to missing the big picture."

"I finally feel I can accept the things I'm too lazy to change."

'I'm seeking donations to fund understocked liquor stores in developing nations.'

"I want my bubble back."

"I was grand fathered in from the previous establishment."

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"Re toxing Dave"

'Sixteenth gin and tonic this lunch.' 'Yes, I'm taking it easy.'

"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."

"I get confused. When someone says, 'have you no shame?', is the proper answer 'yes' or 'no'?"

Drunk woman in front of poster - Drink as much as you can't

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'Of course not, my dear -- I'm sober as a judge!'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

He managed to get his Mission Statement down to just one word...

Lush.

'The liquor store was overstocked, and it seemed like a shame to let it all go to waste.'

'I've got a bit of a drink problem.' 'Me too..there's never enough.'

'Our TVs show stock market channels, because people drink when the market is up, and drink when it's down,'

'Damn it, I will have another, because I'm worth it.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'We only drink at weekends, the rest of the week we are as miserable as sin...'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

A sign at a bar above some stools reads "Express Stools (3 drinks or less)".

Liquor Store: Lean to Open.

Scariest Tactics

"Every day at five. Like clockwork."

"Sorry, the nuts are only to attract new customers."

"I'm not a mean drunk—I'm just damned insensitive."

At The Oblivion Lounge"A double blotto straight up, Dave."

"Well, so much for happy hour."

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

"Right now I'm between drinks."

"I've never been wild about this bar, but it does get you where you want to go."