Happy Hour Fanatic T-Shirts

Man walks into a bar displaying a sign that reads "Smug Hour 5 p.m.-6 p.m."

'I'm administering the anesthetic.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Suitably dressed for Happy Hour.

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Happy Hour

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Best Before 5th Pint.

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

Clown waits for 'Happy Hour' to begin.

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Beers

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

The Reaper's Arms

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."