Happy Hour Fanatic Pillows

Man walks into a bar displaying a sign that reads "Smug Hour 5 p.m.-6 p.m."

'I'm administering the anesthetic.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Suitably dressed for Happy Hour.

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Happy Hour

Best Before 5th Pint.

Beers

Clown waits for 'Happy Hour' to begin.

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

The Reaper's Arms

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'