Happy Hound Hero Pillows

'That was fun!'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Cat in Tree.

"What about the five that fell through?"

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Consider yourself chased."

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

Litter.

'No need to shout.'

'Good dog!'

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

'There was an extra 50 miles on my bike this week. I couldn't keep you off the couch, now this?'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

"Are the hot dogs the burned ones or the really burned ones?"

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

"And yet, I too am a still life."

Why dogs hate CPR.

Playing with the dog with a boomerang.

Canine Scent-ipede

"Gracie, would you like to live in jar?"

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

Lawyer to client: 'Yes, your turnover at the pastry shop would fall under tort law.'

Emotional Support Dog