Happy Horticulturist Gifts

The happy gardener

The Busy Gardener

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

Gardening Terms: Black Spot

The Garden

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"You overwatered the plant, again."

Tree Identification Field Guide...

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

Wife growing vegetables in husband's piano

'They gave thanks for a bountiful harvest? Their garden must've done better than yours.'

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

User friendly soil.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Plants to Avoid - Creeping Wallenda

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

'I need to relax more.' - 'Plants are relaxing.' - 'I need a bonsai.' - '...and here's your care guide.' - 'Say what?' - 'My, my... you're a demanding little bastard, aren't you?'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Gardeners

Priest watering his wings.

"The garden is my résumé."

Garden Shop: Pig $#!@ and Sheep $#!@

The Garden of My Heart

Clown watering his flowers.

Every flower that ever bloomed had to go through a whole lot of dirt to get there.

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.