Happy Go Lucky Pup Parent Gifts

"I no longer eat homework. I graduated to term papers."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

'We'll take it!'

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

"Are you as excited as I am?"

'Bad dog, stop doing the crossword.'

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

The Upholstery Consultant

"He thinks he learned a new trick - I don't have the heart to tell him it's just an old trick he forgot he knew."

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

'Come to think of it son, there's not a single spot in this backyard I've not dug out sometime...'

My dog is an honor student at the Curtis Obedience School.

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

Cat Show: Most Arrogant

"Yes, they've hired a professional dog-walker! Frankly, I would have preferred a dog-runner or at least a ball or stick thrower..."

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

'None of them is dead! They're just doing this to embarrass me!'

"We're expecting quite a litter this time."

'Doing tricks is a slippery slope.'