Happy Ending Historian Gifts

"Have you read the other history where they live happily ever after?"

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"Let's have some fun kids, he says, let's play Easter Island."

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

Blues artis's daily list

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Just our luck. We finally see the 'feel good' movie of the year and it's December."

Plymouth Rock

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

''...And they all lived slap-happily ever after.''

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

Jesus wept

'According to our research they were a happy people.'

A Woman's Conquests.

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

"It's not jsut that he walks upright and uses complex tools. He also makes me laugh."

'Where are all these people who lived happily ever after?'

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

Revised Texts

Unexpected Help for the Colonists at the Boston Tea Party

Style

"The stock market hit 50,000 and everyone lived happily ever after."

2020's Bug Bear

'I never forget any of my girlfriends.'

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

'I did our branch of the family tree. Turns out we're birch and northern pine.'

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

'I know you live a life of quiet desperation -- you never shut up about it!'

"Well, I'm pretty sure I don't have Alzheimer's."

"... and they both pretended to live happily ever after."

Shootout at the Soapy Canal

'We're learning about the 1960's in history class - tell me all about the Summer of Love!'