Happy Hour Historian Gifts

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'I know you live a life of quiet desperation -- you never shut up about it!'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Happy Hour

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Clown waits for 'Happy Hour' to begin.

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

Beers

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

The Reaper's Arms

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

Infinity Tavern