Mirthful Historian Gifts

Plymouth Rock

Archimedes statue with a lever

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

Red Letter Days - Encounter with the old village sweetheart - 'bless my soul! ... Miss Victoire! ...'

"Let's have some fun kids, he says, let's play Easter Island."

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Dog History

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

A caveman attempting to make a cart

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

"R.V. Lintel- Inventor of Polyroc

'According to our research they were a happy people.'

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

Atomic Bear: Part 10

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

Mummy has set up a pulley system in his sarcophagus.

"You look good for your age."

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

"Honey! Remember when we first met and you used to nibble my ear?"

Unexpected Help for the Colonists at the Boston Tea Party

"Hydro density apparatus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

The Wonder Years: "I wonder where my keys are. I wonder why I came upstairs. I wonder why my pants are down..."

Ghak was a hunter, Zhoomba was a gatherer and Fnok was a sponger.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Excalibur.

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

Ancient man

'These are the happiest days of your life.'