Happy Childhood Reflector Pillows

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

Fat Kid 2- Plays with some Blue tac (colour)

"No, your body is actually alive and well back on earth - your mind has just arrived at the gates of blissful dementia."

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

Childhood's End

Paper Bombs

"When I was 5 years old, I put all my money in a pickle jar. Of course, my money was soggy and the pickles tasted funny."

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

"Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for you."

Musical Chairs: Because kids don't already have a hard time fitting in.

'There is no room in the church for damaged goods Rodney.'

An old couple visit a woods where they once carved their name in a tree and discover it has bee cut down.

"So, according to law, we're basically hostages till we're 18."

"I was a cog in the machine for thirty years, and then it went solid-state!"

Trichinosis

"I was so busy worrying that she only loved me because of my money that I lost her AND the money!"

Excess Baggage: In the future, some of these kids will pay good money to do the same thing, only they'll call it a 'Luxury Motor Coach Tour'.

'E. I. E. I. O!.. I think we've just made contact with old Macdonald!'

'When I get married, I'm not going to be in the wedding.'

"I was a used-car salesman, but I was terrible at it."

"Families depress me."

Murray relives a favorite watershed moment in his life.

"I never appreciated nap time when I had it."

'Harriet! I haven't seen you since we were kids. You remember my little brother Mitchell, don't you?'

"You have your whole life ahead of you, Billy...boy, I sure don't envy you!"

Eddie longed for the days when kids play at the playground, instead of creating YouTube moments.

"Oh, that's just the pedestal your father used to put me on."

'There I am on my third birthday. Just as precocious as ever.'

"Nobody's perfect."

'I was nineteen here in Paris, once, but I was a stupid nineteen.'

"So you only got one Valentine's card!"