Happy Childhood Reflector Pillows

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

Fat Kid 2- Plays with some Blue tac (colour)

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

Proud parents take a photo of their potty-trained child.

Childhood's End

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

Paper Bombs

"No, your body is actually alive and well back on earth - your mind has just arrived at the gates of blissful dementia."

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

"Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for you."

"When I was 5 years old, I put all my money in a pickle jar. Of course, my money was soggy and the pickles tasted funny."

Musical Chairs: Because kids don't already have a hard time fitting in.

"So, according to law, we're basically hostages till we're 18."

"I was a cog in the machine for thirty years, and then it went solid-state!"

An old couple visit a woods where they once carved their name in a tree and discover it has bee cut down.

'There is no room in the church for damaged goods Rodney.'

'When I get married, I'm not going to be in the wedding.'

"I was so busy worrying that she only loved me because of my money that I lost her AND the money!"

Trichinosis

'E. I. E. I. O!.. I think we've just made contact with old Macdonald!'

"Families depress me."

"I was a used-car salesman, but I was terrible at it."

Murray relives a favorite watershed moment in his life.

Excess Baggage: In the future, some of these kids will pay good money to do the same thing, only they'll call it a 'Luxury Motor Coach Tour'.

Eddie longed for the days when kids play at the playground, instead of creating YouTube moments.

"You have your whole life ahead of you, Billy...boy, I sure don't envy you!"

'There I am on my third birthday. Just as precocious as ever.'

'Harriet! I haven't seen you since we were kids. You remember my little brother Mitchell, don't you?'

"I never appreciated nap time when I had it."

"Oh, that's just the pedestal your father used to put me on."

"Nobody's perfect."

'I was nineteen here in Paris, once, but I was a stupid nineteen.'