Childhood Reflectionist Pillows

Excess Baggage: In the future, some of these kids will pay good money to do the same thing, only they'll call it a 'Luxury Motor Coach Tour'.

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Woman looking into a mirror

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"I want a pony!"

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

Rapunzel as a child.

"Oh, it's not a baby book, it's his memoirs."

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

Paper Bombs

Boys happy playing and singing in the snow and ice

"I'm looking for a day care provider. . . besides TV."

Doing timeout changes a guy.

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

"Someday we'll look back on these and-times and be really envious."

'Dad...why would I ever want to get out of the first grade? I love first grade!'

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

"When I was 5 years old, I put all my money in a pickle jar. Of course, my money was soggy and the pickles tasted funny."

"Hey Mundo, I'm collecting videotape for American's Dumbest Videos! Show me something stupid!"

Musical Chairs: Because kids don't already have a hard time fitting in.

"O.K., now, when a teacher comes out, everybody look straight up."

'My composition is 'parental discipline and what we can do about it'.'

"He's growing up too fast. Instead of hearing a fairytale, he wants to know about rights in the workplace."

'I've sussed this work/life balance...'

The people making the Vasimr engine ripped off my idea. What? How? When I was a kid, I had the idea of getting to Mars in just 40 days. The Vasimr engine uses radio waves to ionize and heat propellant to do just that. That's pretty impressive. How'd you know that radio waves could ionize and heat propellant when you were just a kid? Not that part. Just the "40 days" part. Less impressive.

'...I just get nervous about opening up and talking about it.'

'Our doctor told me to give up sugar and spice and everything nice.'