Reflecting On Childhood Pillows

"When I was 5 years old, I put all my money in a pickle jar. Of course, my money was soggy and the pickles tasted funny."

Haircuts

Bike Rides

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"Frankly, Jackie Paper, I’ve done all I can with strings and sealing wax."

Jack in the Box

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

'I thought you wanted him to have all the things you never had.'

Sliding Down the Banister

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

'Oh, no! The monster under my bed is my brother!'

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

'True, I'm nearing the end, but at least, there's rarely a dull moment.'

"You see? There are no vacuum cleaners under your bed."

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

Mall of ages

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

"This is where I come to unwind."