Hand-eye Coordination Gifts

A pirate uses his hook on a buzz wire game.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

Glance Exchange

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

Monk Prompt

Large print e-book.

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

"It looks like it's an eye bank."

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

'Pop-up Bible.'

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

'Look at all of God's children. Then again, they might be just thousands of tiny, little circles.'

Priest

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

The Pessimetrist.

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

Church Hymn

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"