Eyesight Gifts

Optometrist meeting agenda gets smaller on each line.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

If you need glasses see an optician. Don't take ours!

How are the lenses, can you see ok?

Large print e-book.

A site for sore eyes

The Pessimetrist.

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'It's Blurred.'

OMG.

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'They suit you.'

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

Optician and the PI.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

I think I need new glasses. I swear I just saw a tiny man jump off your bridge.

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'