Halloween Whiz Gifts

"It's still October!!"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

'Maths is fun!'

Math Teacher

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'In a Washington economic summit, a panel of three economists offered two dozen opinions about the direction of global economics.'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'You should have been here last quarter when his earnings estimate was off by two cents, instead of one.'

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

Johann Strauss

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

Mario Caravadossi hides Angelotti

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

'My mum can play the piano by ear.'

"I've got it! If we don't send Stanley Kauffman any tickets, maybe he won't come!"

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

"Of course, black magic is more expensive than white magic. Do you think that the pigments are free?"

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

"I crunched the numbers and now they're so smooshed up I can't read them."

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

"Hardscrabble"

'I got 100 in arithmetic today and I still failed. The answer was 200.'

A day late and a dollar short doesn't sound so bad until you see all the finance charges.

Sean Connery