Halloween Humor Enthusiast Pillows

That's some scary SHIT!!

Things that are not so scary. . .

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Transylvanian backpackers.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Night of the Zombonies.

Dead Funny

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Home depot."

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"I said slime."

Zombies.

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

"Of course I'm dressed like a cheap w***e! It's Halloween! Duhh!"

"It's probably just seasonal."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Macbeth: Take Two

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

Open House of Horrors