Halloween Host Pillows

Showbiz Awards

'He likes to power nap.'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'One eye of newt or two?'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Trick or Tweet

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Macbeth: Take Two

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

Punkins

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

We have the right to refuse service to those not wearing a mask.

Zombie pet tricks.

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'