Halloween Hobbyist Pillows

"I was almost that last year."

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

Transylvanian backpackers.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'He likes to power nap.'

'One eye of newt or two?'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

Dead Funny

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

Night of the Zombonies.

"Home depot."

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"I said slime."

Zombies.

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Trick or Tweet

"It's probably just seasonal."

"Of course I'm dressed like a cheap w***e! It's Halloween! Duhh!"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"