Halloween Hobbyist Gifts

"I was almost that last year."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

Transylvanian backpackers.

'He likes to power nap.'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'One eye of newt or two?'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Home depot."

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Dead Funny

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

Night of the Zombonies.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

Zombies.

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"I said slime."

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"Of course I'm dressed like a cheap w***e! It's Halloween! Duhh!"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

Trick or Tweet

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"