Hairball Humorist Gifts

'There's a 'most disgusting contest' photo finish.'

That thing you threw up was only a hairball.

"Chill out, woman, it's only a hairball."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

Not you. Your hair.

Ed's receding hairline!

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

Bald Man Overcomb

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Operation Chrome Dome.

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

'Just a trim for me thanks.'

'It doesn't look good, sir - the enemy is amassing vacuum cleaners along our southern border.'

What if cats talked dirty...

"Can you suggest something that will enhance my hairstyle?"

Bobo's Barber Shop

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

Toupee in a tin.

''Just face it - you're going bald.'

"His baldness was way out of control, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

'You went for the highlights then?'

"I see so much better after cataract surgery and....wow, you're bald!"

"Huston, we have a bad hairday problem!"