Hair Style Scribe Gifts

Very Critical.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

"Jose Rivera, who wrote the screenplay for 'The Motorcycle Diaries,' is the first Puerto Rican screenwriter to be nominated for an Oscar. He's known for incorporating his life experiences into his award-winning writing."

Waiting Room For Godot.

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

English As A Second Language

A writer goes sailing.

The last of the mullet.

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

"She works best in hex mode."

'That one is a real bargain if you don't mind the chin strap.'

"Well yes, I could prescribe glasses, but frankly, just cutting your fringe would probably work better..."

TV announcement: 'The Consumer Product Safety Commission today announced the recall of all E-Z Reclino-Mat chairs sold between ...'

"I'm writing a novel, but it's hard to find alone time."

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

"Lose the man bun and shave your head."

'It's not his name - It's what he does all the time.'

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

"Polishing my mouse just doesn't have the same calming effect as sharpening my pencil."

"Sure, I wanted my hair back, but not my seventies hair."

Which useless activity are you doing on your electronic pacifier right now? My what? Your electronic pacifier. Your soother. Your binky. My iPhone is not a "binky". It's an indispensable tool, essential to keeping the busy, modern life running like a well-oiled machine. You can't stand to experience a single moment devoid of activity. Solitude makes you agitated, lonely, bored or insecure. Anytime you feel bad, you reach for your phone. It's your binky. My Twitter followers agree with me that yo

"Philosopical argument needs an elephant in the room. Can you handle it, sweetie?"

In return would you please spend some of my money on a haircut.

"And that's my guardian angel!"

'Wait till you meet him, Mom! He reads books, has a checking account, and can even write script!'

"Copywriting is too 'writing.'"

The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Traveling with caution