Hacker Thwarting Enthusiast Gifts

"You have reached technical support...your call is important to us so please stay on the line..."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Gadget geek.

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

"To save you from destruction I will now wipe out mankind!"

"I had a wonderful dream that Anonymous turned out to be me."

"I've mutated."

"Woah - random!"

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

'Trust you, Filkins, to harp on the ONE TINY FLAW in the online global infrastructure.' (Technology dependent on electricty)

Woman rushing her computer to the doctor.

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

'Sir, you need special help to fix this problem. Please hold the line whilst I put you through to our exorcist.'

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

"You've managed to catch bird flu, swine flu and a touch of mad cow disease."

'How can we get the flu? We are the flu.'

'Don't ask questions, Margaret -- Just get Bill Gates on the phone!'

"If fishing wasn't bad enough, we now have to worry about phishing, too."

Typical Viral Coversation - "So many people so little time."

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

Strainspotting

Jesus forgets to save.

"I've been sent home to lay low. If anyone asks, no one in my virology lab knows anything about a rampaging army of pangolin-bat hybrids."

"When are you going to give in and buy a cell phone?"

'Aren't any of these interactive?'

'The trouble with facing reality is you never know from which direction it's coming from.'

"...as of noon today, we became a non-profit making organisation."

"These endless software updates are killing your joie de vivre."

'I want the new BX 406, not the 407 and I want expanded memory with a graphics converter...'

"Thanks to all the passwords I've had to memorize, I've forgotten my name. Who am I?"

"Signing in my presence isn't enough anymore. You have to sign while I'm in your personal space."

'I know you never get grandpa's texts, but I don't have the heart to tell him he's using the TV remote.'