Hacker Deterrent Enthusiast Gifts

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'Where was the TSA?'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

A Little Extra

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

CCTV in church.

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Biro Security

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

IT security.

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'