Habitual Hooman Gifts

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

The point in every relationship, when annoying habits become intolerable...

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

"Honey, I'll be right back – I forgot to stop at the bar on the way home."

'I thought about leaving once, but I couldn't quit the habit.'

How do you like the new suit?

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. By the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and speaker we hoped to use died in 1967...'

"Well, come to think of it, we are creatures of habit: Always migrating to the same place and stopping at the same spots on the way..."

'And that's Mr. Clarke - bottle of Pinot Grigio, every Friday, 4:45 p.m.'

Are we a bunch of losers? Who are you talking about? Me, Randy, Sadie, even you Uncle Mort – all of us cafe regulars. We've been hanging out at this place for years. I've been working here two decades. Do we have nowhere else to go? More powerful even than inertia: Any momentum killed by an uncompromising nap regimen. Zzzz.

Eating Alone

'The meaning of life? Sorry, kid, you're on the wrong mountain - I'm the guru of handy household tips!'

Woman and dog with mobiles

sale on paradigm shifts.

'So, this is what you do in your secret room...'

Smoking away money.

"You will make the same foolish mistakes you have made before, not only once but many, many times again."

"I will not buy a fridge magnet. . ."

'I don't like changing my habits. That's why I'll have what I already know I don't like.'

Long Limo Wait

'Actually, no-one's retiring or getting married this week - it's just that I can't kick the habit.'

"She's not my pet. More like a family member, really."

"I tried change, it didn't work."

"Are all old folks this superstitious?"