Gymkhana Gifts

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.

'How many times have I told you to not call while I'm in the middle of a competition?'

Doesn't he seem really stiff?

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

'i know its traditional, and I'm sure I look gorgeous, but this hairstyle makes me feel like a chump...'

'That's it Robert, this fancy dress thing has finally gone too far!'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'He's maturing early.'

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Children jumping onto mattress in PE.

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

Giraffe Portrait

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

Cheerleaders

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

Work/Personal Life Balance Beam

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

Man catching a woman on flying trapeze.

101 uses of a dead cat: spring board.

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

'Will I still be married?'

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

"The back flip was a nice touch."

Fitness Course.