Gym Powerhouse Pillows

'I do hope Nauinski is not thinking of cheating!'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Muscles

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Exercise Class

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"OK, ready to go again?"

DumbbellsSmartbells.

'I made my own list of My World's 100 Most Powerful Women!'

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

The trim reaper

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

That's not what I meant when I suggested you get an exercise machine.

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

'What are you eating now?'

Children jumping onto mattress in PE.

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

Cheerleaders

Corporate Whore.

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

Holiday Aerobics.

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

Gym. Weight Room. This must be sculpting my body --- All my muscles feel like putty.

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.