Gym Detective Gifts

"I was told when I got this job I'd have access to the gym, by nobody remembers where it is."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Exercise now!

"Pssst. Fake poop."

No caption. (A mother runs on a treadmill with a baby carriage on the treadmill next to her).

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Battery lifting weights

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

'I need affordable daycare now!'

Walking To School Simulator

"What are you in for?"

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"Exercise is a great way of losing weight."

Exercising your heart.

Heart shaped man exercising with weights.

'We're in luck. Not a word about steroids.'

"First, I'd like to know what arrangements your company has for flexitime!"

"I'd like to see something in a size 6...me!"

1. Wealthy people will consider hiring others to do their exercise for them. They should not give in to this temptation, as studies have shown that this seriously slows down any truly serious body-building campaign. 2. The key word in isometrics is balance. Be sure every part of your body shares in the fun equally and you will be able to avoid awkward developments.

'Elaine, Elaine... we're doing the child's pose today, not the fetal position.'

"And then, having shaped up, he shipped out."

The Wonder Gym.

'For your high blood pressure, I prescribe exercise and weight loss. For your stress I prescribe exercise and weight loss. For your headaches, I prescribe exercise and weight loss.'

'It's the half-empty bag of cookies from the back of the pantry. Should I tell them you'll call back?'

Before and After diet photos.

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

"It's the bottom of the ninth, with two outs and bases loaded, and you're in the batter's box doing situps for some reason."

"After giving advice for decades, my doctor gave me some. He suggested I quit sitting all day."

"Sorry dear! I'm very busy right now."

'How was aerobics class?'

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

"Courtney: Raised by hamsters"

A Body Builder has his picture taken behind a cardboard cut out of a body builder.