Guru Of Gains T-Shirts

I can't help you with the meaning of life, I'm a stock market guru

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Tartine

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"#Win!"

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

Best Before 5th Pint.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

Soaring Profits

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

Guru.

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

"welcome man cave."

"Whine and cheezed party."

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

Quiz Night...

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'