Gunslinger Wannabe Pillows

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

Cowboy.

Billy. The Kid.

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Doughnut Making

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

Wild West Text Showdown

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

'Shh, Ben's running it right to us. That's his 'I've got everything under control' howl.'

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

"This town isn't big enough for the two of us."

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

Nobody Comes Between Nancy & Her Mondrian

"No, no, I think it's 'two-gun' Pete you're after!"

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'

'That stranger's tellin' the truth, sheriff. Ol' Buford here done went into his windup first.'

Boot Hill: 2nd Fastest Gun In The West RIP

Santa's family holding firearms

Coffee Shops of the Old West: "Damn it Zeke! How many times do I have to tell you?? When a customer asks for a double shot...he means Espresso!"

"That was six! You should never have quit school, Jake!"

'Wild Bill Hiccup: Would-be scourge of the Wild West...'

"If I don't get to shoot somebody soon, I'm going to have to shoot somebody."

"I said reach for the sky stranger. It's a figure of speech. I didn't mean literally!"

"This chat room ain't big enough fer th' two of us."