Gun Store Clerk Pillows

"I want my gun to really scream, 'Look out-he's got a gun!'"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Bribes for Jabs

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"It's the kind of missile system that says, 'Hey, these peace negotiations aren't really going very well.'"

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

'Democracy, okay?'

University Book Store.

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

European Arms Proliferation - 1860's

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

"The only think we'll be able to shoot at soon will be that right to roam lot..."

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

Arms Industry increases sales by 8.5%

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

"My company sells military goods and information to unsavory characters around the world, and donates 100% of our profits to local charities!"

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."