Gun Shop Employee Pillows

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

"Offense or defense?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Pull...'

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

'Of course I will! Hey, I can't go wrong - my brother is a divorce lawyer and my dad is a gun dealer!'

What?

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

"You got the chip shop gig, then?"

"For extra protection, this one is armed with a tiny gun of its own."

Printing Room

'It's what we were afraid of, Virgil. Someone's selling guns to the Indians.'

'Yeah, yeah, the ammo is included. ... OK, so remember - anyone asks? You've never seen me before in your life.'

'I just never thought you would turn into such a clock watcher.'

'Well, yes, I guess so; the Warmington AR-20 could drop a man at 500 metres.'

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

The Gun that made the West feel good about itself

'There ought to be background checks before people can vote.'

Yeah, maybe this would work better outside.

'Yes,I did order an extra barrel,but for my shotgun.'

Fido's begging days were over.

"How mushy do you like your peas..?"

"My gun's in the shop. Let's establish a dialogue."

"Could you deliver 500 pizzas over there at the sports shop? Just ask for Hank at the frisbee department."

'Would you like to join our frequent shooter club?'

"Mister, can you show me how to shoot my quills?"

"Since the cracked down on gun licences there's some bleedin awful shots about!"

'Our tests show this to be a more aerodynamic position.'

"This duck call costs more than my cell phone did."

'How did the shark get a gun?'

Liberal Arts Diploma.

'Now this gun can shoot ducks flying or sitting.'

'So, how was your day at work, dear?'