Gun Debate Fan Gifts

"Makes you feel in control, doesn't it?"

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Constitutional Convention. We're behind schedule, everybody wanted to make a speech about the first amendment. For the second amendment, let's stick to bullet points. (Published previously on May 19, 2010).

"Putin's prime critic was killed. That would never happen in U.S. politics, because nothing gets done here!"

'So what if few limp-wristed girlie men think we're too extreme!'

Antiwar Democrats Get Tough

(Beware of the dog)

Self Checkout

"Resistance" Democrats Promise Bipartisanship with the Same Republicans They Called Scum

"There's nothing in the constitution that guarantees women the right to choose air."

The delegitimization effort.

NRA vows to stop senseless shootings: 'But we're keeping the sensible ones....'

'Look out, he has a gun!'

"Give me your money...and sign this petition supporting the right to buy firearms."

'But I don't mean to bite people...they just get caught in my teeth.'

'I was thinking about voting my conscience this time, but then I remembered that I didn't have one.'

'. . . But where's the beef?'

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

At the NRA lounge.

"Personally, I think the world would be a safer place if everybody owned a rock."

"Goddamn it Randy, the constitution gives us the right to bear arms..."

"I'ma N.R.A. stalwart."

"It's tough, but their right to keep and bear arms must not be infringed."

Another Nude Swim

An uneasy calm descended over Thompsons Road.

"As soon as I pay alimony to my six ex-wives, go to rehab and see my therapist, I'm going to go protest that wacko Trump."

Lost and Found

National Reason Association of America: Mandatory Background Checks

"There, now my ground can stand itself. So I won't need to shoot you and go through all that."

Stay the Course No More

Saturn wearing a NRA hat and eating his own child

'Please donate money in support of the pro-firearms lobby - or else!'

Gladstone and Disraeli Discussed by the Queens

Want to get into the van? Hih? WE're road tripping to Arizona. We're gonna protest the onerous immigration laws. We'll innundate the man with papers showing we're citizens, then burn them and inhald of smoke of peaceful resistance. They have big TVs there. Dibs on the Netflix queue!

"Saying your god is the 'one true god' is as silly as me saying my penis is the 'one true penis.'."